where i've been...

just trying to take everything in.
every sunset, every new view, every time i look up at this impossible blue sky... i have been trying to take advantage of my last days in california. i leave to brazil in less than two weeks (september 9th)
i haven't really been home. every single opportunity that i have to be outdoors, every chance i get of seeing this one thing i haven't seen... i'll take 'em!
just this past week, i went on an amazing boat ride through the newport bay, something i hadn't done before. finally got to see this side of newport that just screams MONEY, MONEY. I mean, our Joe's Crab Shack has a "parking lot" in the back for customers who arrive on boats, with a very cleat sign that says: DOCKING FOR JOE'S CRAB SHACK ONLY. ANY OTHER BOATS WILL BE REMOVED AT OWNER'S EXPENSE. am i the only one who sees the absurdity in this??
this weekend i had my official good bye to vegas, which wasn't as glamorous as i just made it seem, but enrique iglesias did show up. he was looking very cracked out, and anna was nowhere to be seen.
vegas was hot and drunk, and that's about all i can remember. no taking mental pictures there, although i took some amazing pictures on the drive there, which were lost when i dropped my memory card in the water. sometimes being drunk annoys me...


(i know it looks as if i had a massive boner

when this pic was taken. that's just not the case)

i'm off.

yes i am.
in about some three months or so i'll be on my way back to brazil.
wow, that's fucking scary.
i mean, it's good that i've come to a decision, even though horrifying, because i just simply couldn't continue to fuck with my head, always wondering WHAT IF? nothing is worse than what if, because it's non-existing. what if is a method of torture we inflict on ourselves. it's just your mind trying to say: "hey, if you're not happy right now, look at what you're missing... ah! IF ONLY YOU HAD THE COURAGE"
well, i do.
it was amazing. thinking of the person i was six years a go, i can't see myself.
living in california allowed me to come out of my shell. something i had built to protect me from people. i have always been scared of people, always scared of getting hurt.
getting hurt by words is no longer a big problem because i got hurt by life, and that's much worse. i am now stronger because of it.
in a way i can't wait to come back to see if what i learned will help me there. will keep me in the right track, because it will be all me. My family (mom, brother, sister, nephew and cat) are all going stay. just thinking about not having my mom there gives me the chills.
it will rest on me to fail or succeed. wownzes.
i'm sure i'll be okay though.

--

on a lighter note i went to getty for the first time yesterday. even though we wasted a bucnh of time getting high before-hand and only got to explore for 30 minutes, it was just simply out of this world. the day was so beautiful, one of those blue california skies, without a single cloud...

yesterday i had an amazing fish dip sort of thing. it was delicious. so delicious that i didn't even realize that i was eating shell fish.
i am allergic to shell fish.
my entire body itches like a mother, i feel sick and want to die.
amazing day to go on a date, eh?
well, with my romantic life going at a constant 0 m.p.h i am not in a position to pass on a date, even on a blind day, which is something that i'm not to found of. i guess the fact that i spend more time in the bathroom than anywhere else shouldn't really matter, right?
o! my i almost forgot. i, somehow, agreed to babysitte for my friend Liz' over the phone when i was sleeping, thinking that i was agrreing to smoke bowl, when that's what i was getting paid with.
so i'm babysitting, have the runs, my body itches, i have a date in thirty minutes, AND I'M NOT EVEN GETTING PAID FOR ANY OF THIS SHIT!!!
i think this is just too hillarious, can't be mad.
o well... god help.

my wisdom teeth are all trying to come out at once, and i'm in so much pain i can barely open my mouth...

i'm not getting them out til friday, so advil, here i am!

more of the same

there are a lot of people that i don't really know on this pic.
i mean, i know them, but just by name.
this was at the rehab party, at the hard rock.
it was fun and all, but as straight as straight gets...

funny fact about this picture: it was the only one
taken on the day of my twenty first birthday.
out of all the parties, out of all the clubs and people,
this was the only time i remembered to get my camera.
as you can see, i was drunk most of the time the weeks leading to
my birthday.
so much celebration, so much anticipation,
i was kinda burned out that night...
probably used my real id with drinking purposes 5 times since... !

last time i drove.
(it really wasn't but i'll pretend it was, since it was my last day
"legally" driving)

nice boobs.

people

this is my wonderful friend michaela.
she's one of the most beautiful people i have ever seen...
she has these classic eastern european features,
she has a freakin' rockin' body,
amazing personality (i know people throw the word "personality"
around like it's nothing, but this rule doesn't apply here... plus,
she knows how to cook!)
she's my soul mate, and even though i couldn't be any gayer,
we act like we're just about the most annoying couple ever, having
these massive fights for just about anything (and i mean it!)

this other fine lady is my friend jillian.
jillian's word is unique... if you were to spend five minutes with
her, you'd realize you have never met anyone like her.
she drives an 85 baby blue corolla, with a broken side mirror that's
still just hangin'. it used to be glued together, but she's realized that gum's
just not gonna cut it. the car is filled (i mean literally) with trash, but you wouldn't
notice, because it ties the car together. she's the one person who can wear a
turquoise fanny pack and still look better than anyone...

THIS IS ME.
I'M FUCKING AWESOME.

this is my nephew, thor.
well, the name is kinda stupid (sorry to any thor who might
be reading this,) but this boy is my life. he was born
three days before my twentyeth birthday, and everytime he sees
me he has this huge smile on his face.
it's weird to see little kids growing up, seeing how their personalities
start shaping...

something funny about this picture:
i was up probably 50-60ft up on a rock, in
the middle of the desert on a rave.
totally fucked up.
that was the most amazing sun-rise i have ever seen...
not really safe to be climbing up rocks at night when you're
fucked up, though

this was the first beach bonfire i went to
it really changed my life.

abuelaaaaa...
just about the flakiest person i have ever met.
she will schedule things with you and never show up,
she will leave you alone for three hours to have sex with her boyfriend,
but you can't help but love her (great tits too!)

i'm done talking about myself...
(ilook at my face on this pic...)